Hey everyone, It's Jay Schetty and I'm thrilled to announce my podcast tour. For the first time ever. You can see my on Purpose podcast live and in person. Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to inspire growth, spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to see you there. Tickets are on cell now. Head to Jayshetty dot me and get yours today.

Hey everyone, It's Jay Schetty and I'm thrilled to announce my podcast tour. For the first time ever. You can see my on Purpose podcast live and in person. Join me in a city near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to inspire growth, spark learning, and build real connections. I can't wait to see you there. Tickets are on cell now. Head to Jayshetty dot me and get yours today.

Most breakups, if not all, are a blessing in disguise. We just can't see where the blessing is in that moment.

Most breakups, if not all, are a blessing in disguise. We just can't see where the blessing is in that moment.

Do you believe that there's right person, wrong time.

Do you believe that there's right person, wrong time.

Absolutely, It's not as simple as oh, we love each other. Everything's supposed to work perfectly. Love is one thing. Relationship is another.

Absolutely, It's not as simple as oh, we love each other. Everything's supposed to work perfectly. Love is one thing. Relationship is another.

One of the most sought after relationship coaches in.

One of the most sought after relationship coaches in.

The world, the most popular voice in the relationship education space, Stefan speaks to you right now.

The world, the most popular voice in the relationship education space, Stefan speaks to you right now.

In dating, men have a bad reputation.

In dating, men have a bad reputation.

Is it fair, completely unfair when she goes on that date or she's in that relationship and things go wrong, she may leave out parts of what she did to contribute to the problem. I think people are not having success in dating because people are not accepting who.

Is it fair, completely unfair when she goes on that date or she's in that relationship and things go wrong, she may leave out parts of what she did to contribute to the problem. I think people are not having success in dating because people are not accepting who.

They are first like that.

They are first like that.

There are things about us we know, but society makes us feel shamed about it.

There are things about us we know, but society makes us feel shamed about it.

How do you communicate with someone who doesn't like to communicate.

How do you communicate with someone who doesn't like to communicate.

My initial response is gonna be you don't communicate with them at all.

My initial response is gonna be you don't communicate with them at all.

You let them go.

You let them go.

But if we're having issues with discussing our relationship problems, things that need to be addressed.

But if we're having issues with discussing our relationship problems, things that need to be addressed.

If we can't discuss it, how can we fix it. We base our.

If we can't discuss it, how can we fix it. We base our.

Perceptions of the opposite sex on what I call the desirables. I always say the way to determine how serious someone is about you is.

Perceptions of the opposite sex on what I call the desirables. I always say the way to determine how serious someone is about you is.

The number one health and wellness podcast Shetty.

The number one health and wellness podcast Shetty.

Ja Shetty Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world where you come to listen, learn and grow. Thank you to all of you who made us one of the top global shows on Spotify wrapped. If you've been listening on there, I am so deeply grateful to you. It was amazing to see that connection with all of you. And today we have back the biggest episode, the biggest guest of the last twelve months on YouTube, someone you love, someone you love to learn from, who has so much great insights, so much great wisdom, so many great tools. And what we both loved is that it was a deep, meaningful conversation that you all connected with. Please welcome back to on Purpose. Stefan speaks, Stefan, it is great to have you here, Glad. Honestly, like we were just talking about it, I was so happy to see that a non clickbait conversation, a non kind of engine needed conversation. It was actually the first time.

Ja Shetty Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world where you come to listen, learn and grow. Thank you to all of you who made us one of the top global shows on Spotify wrapped. If you've been listening on there, I am so deeply grateful to you. It was amazing to see that connection with all of you. And today we have back the biggest episode, the biggest guest of the last twelve months on YouTube, someone you love, someone you love to learn from, who has so much great insights, so much great wisdom, so many great tools. And what we both loved is that it was a deep, meaningful conversation that you all connected with. Please welcome back to on Purpose. Stefan speaks, Stefan, it is great to have you here, Glad. Honestly, like we were just talking about it, I was so happy to see that a non clickbait conversation, a non kind of engine needed conversation. It was actually the first time.

We met, yeah, exactly, and.

We met, yeah, exactly, and.

We just got into it and the audience in community responded. It was beautiful to see. So thank you for doing this again. Absolutely, man, all right, I want to dive straight in like we Digitous do it. I want to dive straight in. What are the biggest issues that men and women are facing when trying to meet the right people and they keep feeling like they meet the wrong person.

We just got into it and the audience in community responded. It was beautiful to see. So thank you for doing this again. Absolutely, man, all right, I want to dive straight in like we Digitous do it. I want to dive straight in. What are the biggest issues that men and women are facing when trying to meet the right people and they keep feeling like they meet the wrong person.

I think one of the biggest issues we have in this world right now is we are refusing to accept the differences between the average man and the average woman. Now, I say the average man average women, because I understand our exceptions to every rule, nothing applied to one hundred percent. However, we have very distinct differences that if we reject, we're going to have conflict in relationships. So one that comes to mind, and I don't know this, this one I was recently talking about. There's this push that people want to say women want sex as much as men, right, that they want to just as match. That's an absolute lie. Okay, as far as I'm concerned, that's simply not true. Now, I was at a conference, well not a conference I was once flown into. It was one of those dating sites they had. They brought a few experts in. They had this presentation and there was a scientist who brought out this study that showed that quote unquote, women want sex as much as men. And I told her, I said, I think there's something wrong here. I think what the study is doing is conflating intimacy with sex, and the reality is that women want intimacy. Okay, if I always say, if you had door number one, door number two, door number one is just straight sex. Doing number two is hugs, kisses, intimacy, All that the majority of women are choosing door number two. The majority of men are choosing door number one. The reason why this is so important to accept, and this is just one example of the built in differences of.

I think one of the biggest issues we have in this world right now is we are refusing to accept the differences between the average man and the average woman. Now, I say the average man average women, because I understand our exceptions to every rule, nothing applied to one hundred percent. However, we have very distinct differences that if we reject, we're going to have conflict in relationships. So one that comes to mind, and I don't know this, this one I was recently talking about. There's this push that people want to say women want sex as much as men, right, that they want to just as match. That's an absolute lie. Okay, as far as I'm concerned, that's simply not true. Now, I was at a conference, well not a conference I was once flown into. It was one of those dating sites they had. They brought a few experts in. They had this presentation and there was a scientist who brought out this study that showed that quote unquote, women want sex as much as men. And I told her, I said, I think there's something wrong here. I think what the study is doing is conflating intimacy with sex, and the reality is that women want intimacy. Okay, if I always say, if you had door number one, door number two, door number one is just straight sex. Doing number two is hugs, kisses, intimacy, All that the majority of women are choosing door number two. The majority of men are choosing door number one. The reason why this is so important to accept, and this is just one example of the built in differences of.

Who we are that we've got to learn to.

Who we are that we've got to learn to.

Just accept it is because now if a man gets with a woman being told we are the same, we want sex the same way, he does not understand how to speak to her in a way that makes her sex.

Just accept it is because now if a man gets with a woman being told we are the same, we want sex the same way, he does not understand how to speak to her in a way that makes her sex.

She res to him. He thinks, oh, if we just like sex, we like sex.

She res to him. He thinks, oh, if we just like sex, we like sex.

If your honey, your horney, that's it and the story, and no, for the majority of women, there is a mental and emotional component you have to be aware of. If she is in the wrong place, if she's overly stressed, if she's overwhelmed, this can take away all her desire or willingness to engage sexually. So by feeding this narrative that we are the same in all these ways, we are not allowing ourselves to learn the differences, respect the differences, and speak to those differences, which will then allow us to have more harmony in relationships. And I feel that if we could do that and really respect the other gender's position on things. And of course you don't go in just assuming all these generalized things apply to each person, but they can be your basic foundation and then you learn that individual and understand, okay, well, with her, maybe she does want sex more than I do, right, Or with this one, maybe she wants a little bit more at this open and you are flexible. But I think if people took that approach, they would have better dating experiences, better relationships, much better marriages.

If your honey, your horney, that's it and the story, and no, for the majority of women, there is a mental and emotional component you have to be aware of. If she is in the wrong place, if she's overly stressed, if she's overwhelmed, this can take away all her desire or willingness to engage sexually. So by feeding this narrative that we are the same in all these ways, we are not allowing ourselves to learn the differences, respect the differences, and speak to those differences, which will then allow us to have more harmony in relationships. And I feel that if we could do that and really respect the other gender's position on things. And of course you don't go in just assuming all these generalized things apply to each person, but they can be your basic foundation and then you learn that individual and understand, okay, well, with her, maybe she does want sex more than I do, right, Or with this one, maybe she wants a little bit more at this open and you are flexible. But I think if people took that approach, they would have better dating experiences, better relationships, much better marriages.

All right.

All right.

Because I can't tell you how many times I was spoken to a husband and I was like, listen, emotionally, mentally, she's not in the right place, and he's like, that sounds stupid.

Because I can't tell you how many times I was spoken to a husband and I was like, listen, emotionally, mentally, she's not in the right place, and he's like, that sounds stupid.

That doesn't say exactly.

That doesn't say exactly.

And because and I have to say to the women, some of them create this dynamic where when they're dating, she doesn't talk about.

And because and I have to say to the women, some of them create this dynamic where when they're dating, she doesn't talk about.

Those things being important to her.

Those things being important to her.

She kind of plays along with the all right, she just wants sex that much and she's just ready to go at it with him, so he never learns and understands, no, she needs more than that, all right, So we can Again, there's so many different examples I could give, but I do think one of the key things to people not just meeting them. And I'll say I'll I'll get to that in a second, but one of the key things to mean the right person is just respecting the differences of men and women. Now, piggy backing off of that, the second thing is I think people are not having success in dating because people are not accepting who they are first.

She kind of plays along with the all right, she just wants sex that much and she's just ready to go at it with him, so he never learns and understands, no, she needs more than that, all right, So we can Again, there's so many different examples I could give, but I do think one of the key things to people not just meeting them. And I'll say I'll I'll get to that in a second, but one of the key things to mean the right person is just respecting the differences of men and women. Now, piggy backing off of that, the second thing is I think people are not having success in dating because people are not accepting who they are first.

All right, Now, a lot.

All right, Now, a lot.

Of people may say you have to learn who you are or to figure it out.

Of people may say you have to learn who you are or to figure it out.

I think a lot of life is accepting who we are.

I think a lot of life is accepting who we are.

I like that there are things about us we know, but society makes us feel shamed about it, tells us there's something wrong with this, you know, And so now we run away from certain realities of who we are. One example I give for myself, I'm extremely ambitious. Maybe two ambitious. I don't know if there's a such thing, but I'm very, very ambitious. And for me, I'm always striving for the next I gotta do more, I gotta do more. I gotta conquer the next thing. But for a long time I was told this was bad. Oh you need to just enjoy the moment, celebrate it, stop worrying about the next thing. All these things, and I remember I took a month where I said, Okay, you know what, I'm not gonna pursue anything else, I'm just gonna rest in what I have be happy with it. And it was one of my most depressed months in my life.

I like that there are things about us we know, but society makes us feel shamed about it, tells us there's something wrong with this, you know, And so now we run away from certain realities of who we are. One example I give for myself, I'm extremely ambitious. Maybe two ambitious. I don't know if there's a such thing, but I'm very, very ambitious. And for me, I'm always striving for the next I gotta do more, I gotta do more. I gotta conquer the next thing. But for a long time I was told this was bad. Oh you need to just enjoy the moment, celebrate it, stop worrying about the next thing. All these things, and I remember I took a month where I said, Okay, you know what, I'm not gonna pursue anything else, I'm just gonna rest in what I have be happy with it. And it was one of my most depressed months in my life.

All right.

All right.

I felt like a newter dog. It was like you took all the fire out of me. And when I finally got to a place of accepting, Okay, this is who I am, and I'm wired this way for a reason. God created me this way because there's a purpose for me to carry out. How that then opens up the dating or how that creates better dating experiences that now, by me knowing this part of me and accepting it, I understand, I can only choose someone who aligns.

I felt like a newter dog. It was like you took all the fire out of me. And when I finally got to a place of accepting, Okay, this is who I am, and I'm wired this way for a reason. God created me this way because there's a purpose for me to carry out. How that then opens up the dating or how that creates better dating experiences that now, by me knowing this part of me and accepting it, I understand, I can only choose someone who aligns.

With that, you see.

With that, you see.

But if I'm sitting here trying to be something i'm not, then I'm picking these people who don't truly fit me, and I don't fit them. And that's why you have these relationships or even these marriages where people wake up five years later from this fog, this excitement they had of their partner to finally see what's really there. And it's like, we don't really like each other, or we don't get along, or we don't really fit well together, and we're constantly in conflict with each other. So if we would just first really put more energy into understanding who we are, accepting who we are, and then we can then realize who we need to pick that alignance with that that would change the landscape. And not only would that change the landscape for so many people, it would allow us to stop letting situations drag on longer than they should. Because a lot of people, they meet someone, they really like them, but they can sense something's missing or something's off. But the problem with people is that they're being told if you have this great person, you can't pass that up.

But if I'm sitting here trying to be something i'm not, then I'm picking these people who don't truly fit me, and I don't fit them. And that's why you have these relationships or even these marriages where people wake up five years later from this fog, this excitement they had of their partner to finally see what's really there. And it's like, we don't really like each other, or we don't get along, or we don't really fit well together, and we're constantly in conflict with each other. So if we would just first really put more energy into understanding who we are, accepting who we are, and then we can then realize who we need to pick that alignance with that that would change the landscape. And not only would that change the landscape for so many people, it would allow us to stop letting situations drag on longer than they should. Because a lot of people, they meet someone, they really like them, but they can sense something's missing or something's off. But the problem with people is that they're being told if you have this great person, you can't pass that up.

You see, if you don't.

You see, if you don't.

Have a very glaring reason that society deems as valid, oh well, then you're being stupid or being ridiculous. It's like, no, you have to trust your spirit, trust your intuition. Something is telling you and it's probably something that you can see, but maybe you can't articulate it, or again you don't feel like it's valid enough.

Have a very glaring reason that society deems as valid, oh well, then you're being stupid or being ridiculous. It's like, no, you have to trust your spirit, trust your intuition. Something is telling you and it's probably something that you can see, but maybe you can't articulate it, or again you don't feel like it's valid enough.

But I can tell you.

But I can tell you.

From my position, those little things is what turns into a big thing later and destroys the whole relationship.

From my position, those little things is what turns into a big thing later and destroys the whole relationship.

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, And a third one that doesn't have to be.

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, And a third one that doesn't have to be.

But I would say this, so you know, we said understand the differences understand yourself, and the third one would be healing. I have to always mention that because I believe the number one issue that people are facing is a lack of healing, and that plays into figuring yourself out because again, you if you are operating out of a place of fear or shame, or you've been told you weren't good enough, or something about you wasn't good even though that wasn't the case, well, that's going to make you struggle with embracing that, right. And if you aren't healed and you're carrying all these negative perceptions of relationships love because a lot of people with their words say I want love, but in reality, they're scared of it all right. They fear being that vulnerable, so they actually subconsciously choose partners who don't make them too vulnerable, but they're good enough to be with, so to speak, which is what I call the safe choice. Some people hear me say the same choice, and they miss understand what I'm saying. I'm not saying safe as in this person creates a place of safety for you. I'm saying this person doesn't take you to the true level of love, true vulnerability you're able to have emotional control and manage the situation. But because of that, you're never choosing someone you're really into, and you can never be what they really need either, And at some point it's going to fall all apart. But it all goes back to healing. We've got to heal, and not just heal from the romantic relationships, from childhood, trauma, from everything, because it all contributes to our struggle to connect with other individuals.

But I would say this, so you know, we said understand the differences understand yourself, and the third one would be healing. I have to always mention that because I believe the number one issue that people are facing is a lack of healing, and that plays into figuring yourself out because again, you if you are operating out of a place of fear or shame, or you've been told you weren't good enough, or something about you wasn't good even though that wasn't the case, well, that's going to make you struggle with embracing that, right. And if you aren't healed and you're carrying all these negative perceptions of relationships love because a lot of people with their words say I want love, but in reality, they're scared of it all right. They fear being that vulnerable, so they actually subconsciously choose partners who don't make them too vulnerable, but they're good enough to be with, so to speak, which is what I call the safe choice. Some people hear me say the same choice, and they miss understand what I'm saying. I'm not saying safe as in this person creates a place of safety for you. I'm saying this person doesn't take you to the true level of love, true vulnerability you're able to have emotional control and manage the situation. But because of that, you're never choosing someone you're really into, and you can never be what they really need either, And at some point it's going to fall all apart. But it all goes back to healing. We've got to heal, and not just heal from the romantic relationships, from childhood, trauma, from everything, because it all contributes to our struggle to connect with other individuals.

A man, you said so many interesting things. I need to like dissact now. So the first thing that came to my mind, especially about the accepting yourself, which I really like that idea of, rather than trying to just learn about yourself or rather than trying to transform yourself, there's an acceptance like who am I? Why am I this way? What does that mean? And I feel like in relationships, people looking for someone who perfectly compliments them or perfectly fits them, as opposed to this idea that, oh, that person accepts me for who I am and allows me to be who I am. So I always say this, I'm similar to you. I'm highly ambitious, really driven, love what I get to do. I would be the same as you if I took a mol like, I get that, like I relate to all of those things, and my wife is so much more like a family person like quality Time. Wants to be ambitious, but she also wants to be present and all the rest of it right, and we are not a perfect fit in that sense, But the reason it works for us is because she allows me to be me and I allow her to be her. I've accepted who I am and I know what that means, and she accepts me and I accept her back. So if I say to her, hey, you know, I don't think I'm going to come to that family event because I got this work thing that I really want to get to, she accepts her. She's okay with that. And if she said to me, I don't really want to come up to you that business thing that you've got today, I really want to just spend time with my family, I'll be like cool. I get it, And I feel like we're just looking for someone who kind of wants to do the thing we want to do with us all the time. But then you start realizing it becomes about one person. But talking about ambition, I wanted to ask you, do you think that men today are struggling with being attracted to ambitious, driven, successful women.

A man, you said so many interesting things. I need to like dissact now. So the first thing that came to my mind, especially about the accepting yourself, which I really like that idea of, rather than trying to just learn about yourself or rather than trying to transform yourself, there's an acceptance like who am I? Why am I this way? What does that mean? And I feel like in relationships, people looking for someone who perfectly compliments them or perfectly fits them, as opposed to this idea that, oh, that person accepts me for who I am and allows me to be who I am. So I always say this, I'm similar to you. I'm highly ambitious, really driven, love what I get to do. I would be the same as you if I took a mol like, I get that, like I relate to all of those things, and my wife is so much more like a family person like quality Time. Wants to be ambitious, but she also wants to be present and all the rest of it right, and we are not a perfect fit in that sense, But the reason it works for us is because she allows me to be me and I allow her to be her. I've accepted who I am and I know what that means, and she accepts me and I accept her back. So if I say to her, hey, you know, I don't think I'm going to come to that family event because I got this work thing that I really want to get to, she accepts her. She's okay with that. And if she said to me, I don't really want to come up to you that business thing that you've got today, I really want to just spend time with my family, I'll be like cool. I get it, And I feel like we're just looking for someone who kind of wants to do the thing we want to do with us all the time. But then you start realizing it becomes about one person. But talking about ambition, I wanted to ask you, do you think that men today are struggling with being attracted to ambitious, driven, successful women.

Yes, but so okay, I guess the reason why I'm hesitating in the way I answer that is when you say men today, because I would argue it's probably always been like that. I just think that there's more ambitious women now, and so there is this disconnect there. And I think that the disconnect, though, isn't simply based off of men not wanting an ambitious woman. I think we got to go a lot deeper than that.

Yes, but so okay, I guess the reason why I'm hesitating in the way I answer that is when you say men today, because I would argue it's probably always been like that. I just think that there's more ambitious women now, and so there is this disconnect there. And I think that the disconnect, though, isn't simply based off of men not wanting an ambitious woman. I think we got to go a lot deeper than that.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

And the unfortunate reality is that, and I want women to understand. You know, again, I recognize that there are some women who genuinely are wired that way, all right. They it feeds them the same way it feeds us. It feeds them to be achieving, to be doing stuff. And I'm a firm believer. I want women to walk in their truth, whatever it is. I will say, though, there's a segment, at least a segment, a large segment of those women who are ambitious out of necessity or even fear. They've been told never rely on the man. They've been told you have to take care of yourself, right, and so with that they chase this career, but it's actually at conflict with who they really are because deep inside they actually are the women that values the family time more being at the home, and there's nothing wrong with that, but they have a segment of society telling them, oh, you can't do that's wrong. You need to be out there strong women to do your own thing. And so those women will have a conflict in data because they're already at conflict with themselves, okay, and that has to be corrected. I always encourage women like, listen, be real with yourself. There's a lot of women who they do the work that they do not because they love the work or having to work, but they love the lifestyle that affords them okay, which is why for many of them, whenever we have the conversation about why can't you date a man who's making less right, well, part of it is because in the back of her mind, if she has a dream of one day being able to leave work, she wants a man who can keep the lifestyle up, okay, and if he's making less well, then in her mind, how will he be able to keep her lifestyle and maintain him It's like, no, he's got to be making as much or if not more, so I can keep this life that I've built for myself and I love very much. But again, I think it all starts with understanding, Okay, is this really who you are or not? Now going back to the men, I do think there is a struggle with a lot of men. One of the things that at least it comes to mind first for me, the issue.

And the unfortunate reality is that, and I want women to understand. You know, again, I recognize that there are some women who genuinely are wired that way, all right. They it feeds them the same way it feeds us. It feeds them to be achieving, to be doing stuff. And I'm a firm believer. I want women to walk in their truth, whatever it is. I will say, though, there's a segment, at least a segment, a large segment of those women who are ambitious out of necessity or even fear. They've been told never rely on the man. They've been told you have to take care of yourself, right, and so with that they chase this career, but it's actually at conflict with who they really are because deep inside they actually are the women that values the family time more being at the home, and there's nothing wrong with that, but they have a segment of society telling them, oh, you can't do that's wrong. You need to be out there strong women to do your own thing. And so those women will have a conflict in data because they're already at conflict with themselves, okay, and that has to be corrected. I always encourage women like, listen, be real with yourself. There's a lot of women who they do the work that they do not because they love the work or having to work, but they love the lifestyle that affords them okay, which is why for many of them, whenever we have the conversation about why can't you date a man who's making less right, well, part of it is because in the back of her mind, if she has a dream of one day being able to leave work, she wants a man who can keep the lifestyle up, okay, and if he's making less well, then in her mind, how will he be able to keep her lifestyle and maintain him It's like, no, he's got to be making as much or if not more, so I can keep this life that I've built for myself and I love very much. But again, I think it all starts with understanding, Okay, is this really who you are or not? Now going back to the men, I do think there is a struggle with a lot of men. One of the things that at least it comes to mind first for me, the issue.

Of low testos wrong.

Of low testos wrong.

And so I'm very passionate about the whole testosterone issue, and I do want men to understand it's deeper than just testosterone, because sometimes we're so fixed. Like you could have high testosterone, but if your quartersole levels are too high, your body's not even processing the testosterone correctly. Your stress is blocking it, if your vitamin D is too low, if you're be too there's other things that can throw it off. So don't think of life as let me just fix my testosterone and that's it.

And so I'm very passionate about the whole testosterone issue, and I do want men to understand it's deeper than just testosterone, because sometimes we're so fixed. Like you could have high testosterone, but if your quartersole levels are too high, your body's not even processing the testosterone correctly. Your stress is blocking it, if your vitamin D is too low, if you're be too there's other things that can throw it off. So don't think of life as let me just fix my testosterone and that's it.

But that could be a huge game changer for out of men.

But that could be a huge game changer for out of men.

So if you have a man who's already because I always say some men are not lazy, they're unhealthy, all right. And if he is not healthy, he has low testosterone, his ability to handle embrace respect and ambitious. It's going to be a struggle in some ways. Well, it'll be a struggle in the sense that it might make him feel inadequate the way that she may carry herself with that ambition. However, I would argue that some of those men, a lot of those men, probably want the ambitious woman simply because for him, I need somebody who can carry the load, okay, And if she's gonna come into my life and stabilize.

So if you have a man who's already because I always say some men are not lazy, they're unhealthy, all right. And if he is not healthy, he has low testosterone, his ability to handle embrace respect and ambitious. It's going to be a struggle in some ways. Well, it'll be a struggle in the sense that it might make him feel inadequate the way that she may carry herself with that ambition. However, I would argue that some of those men, a lot of those men, probably want the ambitious woman simply because for him, I need somebody who can carry the load, okay, And if she's gonna come into my life and stabilize.

Me, then great.

Me, then great.

The real problem is the ambitious woman does not want that man.

The real problem is the ambitious woman does not want that man.

She's probably in.

She's probably in.

Most cases looking for a man who is also ambitious.

Most cases looking for a man who is also ambitious.

Right.

Right.

And this is where the disconnect comes, because now it's kind of like the whole discussion of having two alphas in a relationship, two very strong personalities. There's no real balance there, okay. And for a lot of women, what they're overlooking is what most men value, or at least most men who are ambitious themselves, who do take care of themselves. They're looking for a compliment to that. They're looking for someone who can love them, pour into them, you know, contribute to a peaceful environment. He doesn't care about your money and your ambition as much.

And this is where the disconnect comes, because now it's kind of like the whole discussion of having two alphas in a relationship, two very strong personalities. There's no real balance there, okay. And for a lot of women, what they're overlooking is what most men value, or at least most men who are ambitious themselves, who do take care of themselves. They're looking for a compliment to that. They're looking for someone who can love them, pour into them, you know, contribute to a peaceful environment. He doesn't care about your money and your ambition as much.

Right.

Right.

But the guy who doesn't have for himself, Well, he's gonna put more value on those things, and it becomes this mismatch of individuals. So a lot of these women who are ambitious, it's not that they cannot get a man. They're struggling to get the type of men they desire, all right. And again, as I said earlier about how we focus on the desirables not the non desirables. When she says I can't meet anyone, she's not literally saying I can't meet any man. She's just saying I'm not meeting anyone I actually like and want to pay attention to.

But the guy who doesn't have for himself, Well, he's gonna put more value on those things, and it becomes this mismatch of individuals. So a lot of these women who are ambitious, it's not that they cannot get a man. They're struggling to get the type of men they desire, all right. And again, as I said earlier about how we focus on the desirables not the non desirables. When she says I can't meet anyone, she's not literally saying I can't meet any man. She's just saying I'm not meeting anyone I actually like and want to pay attention to.

So in her mind, I'm not.

So in her mind, I'm not.

Meeting anyone, you see. And so there is a problem with a lot of men. And I do think again, I would pose the question to a lot of women, are you going to be happy in the long run in that kind of a dynamic? You know, is that really going to serve you? Or is that a right now in the moment thing. Because there's a lot of ambitious women who accepted maybe the less ambitious man right because he thinks, all right, well, he loves me is going to you know, he'll be there for me. I can trust this relationship but in over time she becomes frustrated with him. You know, he doesn't take initiative. He's not as asserative as she wants him to be. He doesn't exude the same level of mask andrew that she desires for a man, and that will take its toll and eventually it will probably blow up the whole relationship.

Meeting anyone, you see. And so there is a problem with a lot of men. And I do think again, I would pose the question to a lot of women, are you going to be happy in the long run in that kind of a dynamic? You know, is that really going to serve you? Or is that a right now in the moment thing. Because there's a lot of ambitious women who accepted maybe the less ambitious man right because he thinks, all right, well, he loves me is going to you know, he'll be there for me. I can trust this relationship but in over time she becomes frustrated with him. You know, he doesn't take initiative. He's not as asserative as she wants him to be. He doesn't exude the same level of mask andrew that she desires for a man, and that will take its toll and eventually it will probably blow up the whole relationship.

Yeah, and that's it's a tough situation to be in because you just don't have any idea where things are going to go right. You don't know, Like I always say that when my wife met me, I was in debt and had no job, and she was, you know, wonderful enough to be in love with me in that place in my life, and we didn't know that things were ever going to change. But she was kind of like, as long as we're stable and you find a job and we're good, then things will be great. And I remember that giving me a lot of confidence, Like even though I was in such a like place of like I remember, I was getting rejected from companies. I wasn't getting any jobs because I just left the monastery, like I wasn't. It was really tough getting back from the work, but her being there it kind of gave me confidence in myself and kind of made me go, oh wow, Well, if a woman like that can, you know, believe enough to be with a man like me, then then I've got to work for it now. And I think the key is are you willing to do that in a way that gives someone confidence or are you someone who gets so affected by it? Well, no matter where gender you are, well you're now making the other person feel bad for it. Right, whatever gender you are, if you're always like, oh, come on, you're just lazy, Come on, you need to do more. If you feel that way about your partner, chances are that that's going to push them away, not motivate them to do better.

Yeah, and that's it's a tough situation to be in because you just don't have any idea where things are going to go right. You don't know, Like I always say that when my wife met me, I was in debt and had no job, and she was, you know, wonderful enough to be in love with me in that place in my life, and we didn't know that things were ever going to change. But she was kind of like, as long as we're stable and you find a job and we're good, then things will be great. And I remember that giving me a lot of confidence, Like even though I was in such a like place of like I remember, I was getting rejected from companies. I wasn't getting any jobs because I just left the monastery, like I wasn't. It was really tough getting back from the work, but her being there it kind of gave me confidence in myself and kind of made me go, oh wow, Well, if a woman like that can, you know, believe enough to be with a man like me, then then I've got to work for it now. And I think the key is are you willing to do that in a way that gives someone confidence or are you someone who gets so affected by it? Well, no matter where gender you are, well you're now making the other person feel bad for it. Right, whatever gender you are, if you're always like, oh, come on, you're just lazy, Come on, you need to do more. If you feel that way about your partner, chances are that that's going to push them away, not motivate them to do better.

Absolutely, But I think what has to be considered in like using your situation as example, is that she didn't have to create ambition in you. She activated it, she energized it, okay, but it already existed with her to you. So for her it was very fortunate that thing said, she found a man who actually wanted to make more of himself. The unfortunate reality is that there's a lot of women who will take that approach with a man and believe that Okay, if I love on him and point into him, this will get him to step up, and it's like, no, he does not have it in him, and nothing you can do. Like, when you think about it, anyone who's successful has had experiences where whether it be friends, family, or random people, where you've tried to help someone and no matter what you.

Absolutely, But I think what has to be considered in like using your situation as example, is that she didn't have to create ambition in you. She activated it, she energized it, okay, but it already existed with her to you. So for her it was very fortunate that thing said, she found a man who actually wanted to make more of himself. The unfortunate reality is that there's a lot of women who will take that approach with a man and believe that Okay, if I love on him and point into him, this will get him to step up, and it's like, no, he does not have it in him, and nothing you can do. Like, when you think about it, anyone who's successful has had experiences where whether it be friends, family, or random people, where you've tried to help someone and no matter what you.

Gave, you can give them the whole blueprint, right, you can.

Gave, you can give them the whole blueprint, right, you can.

Fund them, you can do everything, and it still becomes nothing because it's just not in them. We cannot make them into something that they're not. So I think it's important that for a woman, if you're gonna take that approach, you have to do your due diligence of understanding who he is as a man, his true character. Are you projecting a fantasy and a POTENTI on him that doesn't really exist?

Fund them, you can do everything, and it still becomes nothing because it's just not in them. We cannot make them into something that they're not. So I think it's important that for a woman, if you're gonna take that approach, you have to do your due diligence of understanding who he is as a man, his true character. Are you projecting a fantasy and a POTENTI on him that doesn't really exist?

All right? What does he see in himself?

All right? What does he see in himself?

Like I would argue, I don't even know what conversations you guys had, but there's a very good chance that if I was there, you were speaking as a man who wanted to accomplish things. So she was just all right, I'm gonna support that, I'm gonna get behind you. That's very different from a woman saying to him like for example, well you could do this and you can become this, and it's like, okay, No, he has to want that.

Like I would argue, I don't even know what conversations you guys had, but there's a very good chance that if I was there, you were speaking as a man who wanted to accomplish things. So she was just all right, I'm gonna support that, I'm gonna get behind you. That's very different from a woman saying to him like for example, well you could do this and you can become this, and it's like, okay, No, he has to want that.

He has to have that vision, you see.

He has to have that vision, you see.

And I think that's where people, you know, get tripped up and end up in the situations where and to your point, the key is ask yourself, as a woman, are you gonna be okay if this man never changes? Because you're placing a bet, all right, there's no guarantee you're gonna win this bet. Are you gonna be okay this man never changes? If not, I would suggest, because here's another angle. We could look at her presence. Her love gave you confidence, But did that have to be given within the context of a girlfriend boyfriend relationship exactly? So if a woman really believes in the man, but she knows if this man doesn't change, I'm gonna be really upset, all right, and I'm gonna feel cheated. Then all we're saying is maybe don't cross romantic lines yet. Let that man know, because I'll tell you that if he has it in him and he has a desire for that woman, and that woman said to him, listen, I think you can make a great partner. I would love to be with you, but I need you to get to a more stable place first. If he's serious, that's his motivation right there. That will get him because as long as he knows, oh, I can get the woman that of my dreams, a woman I love if I put in the work. Okay, I'm gonna do that, but by getting with him while in the process. For a lot of men, they only do to acquire. And if they already acquired, then what am I going to do anything for? What do I need to go work and all this extra stuff or try to do more to make more money.

And I think that's where people, you know, get tripped up and end up in the situations where and to your point, the key is ask yourself, as a woman, are you gonna be okay if this man never changes? Because you're placing a bet, all right, there's no guarantee you're gonna win this bet. Are you gonna be okay this man never changes? If not, I would suggest, because here's another angle. We could look at her presence. Her love gave you confidence, But did that have to be given within the context of a girlfriend boyfriend relationship exactly? So if a woman really believes in the man, but she knows if this man doesn't change, I'm gonna be really upset, all right, and I'm gonna feel cheated. Then all we're saying is maybe don't cross romantic lines yet. Let that man know, because I'll tell you that if he has it in him and he has a desire for that woman, and that woman said to him, listen, I think you can make a great partner. I would love to be with you, but I need you to get to a more stable place first. If he's serious, that's his motivation right there. That will get him because as long as he knows, oh, I can get the woman that of my dreams, a woman I love if I put in the work. Okay, I'm gonna do that, but by getting with him while in the process. For a lot of men, they only do to acquire. And if they already acquired, then what am I going to do anything for? What do I need to go work and all this extra stuff or try to do more to make more money.

When I'm getting fed, I'm getting sex, have a roof over my head.

When I'm getting fed, I'm getting sex, have a roof over my head.

For a lot of men, that is enough. There's only a smaller segment of men who you can give them all those things and it doesn't matter they.

For a lot of men, that is enough. There's only a smaller segment of men who you can give them all those things and it doesn't matter they.

Have to do more. It's just who they are.

Have to do more. It's just who they are.

So that has to be acknowledged and recognized when a woman's going to determine that she's going to actually engage in that kind of a dynamic.

So that has to be acknowledged and recognized when a woman's going to determine that she's going to actually engage in that kind of a dynamic.

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It is unfair, completely unfair. One of the big.

It is unfair, completely unfair. One of the big.

Problems that exists is that a lot of women are not being told accurate stories of other women's dating experiences. Now that isn't to say there aren't genuinely bad men out there, bad experiences and all that, but what they felt to understand is that whether it be their friends, their family, whoever, when she goes on that date or she's in that relationship and things go wrong, she may leave out parts of what she did to contribute to the problem. And so you're hearing this very one sided view of the situation, which is gonna almost always paint the man in the negative light. And so the woman starts to develop this very negative perception of men based off all these stories she's being fed. Then you add the Internet, right, and the Internet is built off of sensationalism and people coming up with all kinds of craziness to make the opposite gender look bad. So whether it's men talking about women, or women talking about or the same gender talking down on their gend, whatever it is. They're trying to hype up negative stories. So even though these negative stories exist, we don't always realize they're not so much the majority. They could be the minority. They're just being pushed a lot more. And so yeah, it does create this very unfair, this unfair view of men, and I think there's again a little bit on both sides.

Problems that exists is that a lot of women are not being told accurate stories of other women's dating experiences. Now that isn't to say there aren't genuinely bad men out there, bad experiences and all that, but what they felt to understand is that whether it be their friends, their family, whoever, when she goes on that date or she's in that relationship and things go wrong, she may leave out parts of what she did to contribute to the problem. And so you're hearing this very one sided view of the situation, which is gonna almost always paint the man in the negative light. And so the woman starts to develop this very negative perception of men based off all these stories she's being fed. Then you add the Internet, right, and the Internet is built off of sensationalism and people coming up with all kinds of craziness to make the opposite gender look bad. So whether it's men talking about women, or women talking about or the same gender talking down on their gend, whatever it is. They're trying to hype up negative stories. So even though these negative stories exist, we don't always realize they're not so much the majority. They could be the minority. They're just being pushed a lot more. And so yeah, it does create this very unfair, this unfair view of men, and I think there's again a little bit on both sides.

To be honest with you.

To be honest with you.

Talk to me about how do those negative stories actually affect us, because I think we don't think about that sometimes in terms of if every time you're talking to someone, it's like, oh yeah, this just happened. Oh yeah, yeah, same thing happened to my friend. Oh yeah, same thing happened to that friend. And like you said, we don't have the full data. It's not always happened to us. And then it spreads. But what is that psychologically and even emotionally due to our own mind and brain and heart.

Talk to me about how do those negative stories actually affect us, because I think we don't think about that sometimes in terms of if every time you're talking to someone, it's like, oh yeah, this just happened. Oh yeah, yeah, same thing happened to my friend. Oh yeah, same thing happened to that friend. And like you said, we don't have the full data. It's not always happened to us. And then it spreads. But what is that psychologically and even emotionally due to our own mind and brain and heart.

Well, I think it's just human nature to where we take our negative experiences and we projected onto that demographic of whoever it's attached to. So it's like if someone gets robbed by a certain demographic of people, they may start to develop a fear towards that those people, even though it was one isolated incident, they now become cautious to them. So, in dating, when you start to experience or hear all these negative things towards men, let's say, well, you're naturally going to become more defensive, more negative.

Well, I think it's just human nature to where we take our negative experiences and we projected onto that demographic of whoever it's attached to. So it's like if someone gets robbed by a certain demographic of people, they may start to develop a fear towards that those people, even though it was one isolated incident, they now become cautious to them. So, in dating, when you start to experience or hear all these negative things towards men, let's say, well, you're naturally going to become more defensive, more negative.

And then what you don't realize is you.

And then what you don't realize is you.

Create these fulfilling prophecies because you go into the dating experience bracing for negativity or projecting it, not realizing you're creating it, okay, and so what also makes it worse? And it hit me when you were asking the question, is that And again, I don't want women to feel like I'm just saying like women don't take any responsibility or anything like that, because there's plenty of women who do. However, it is more likely when a woman goes to her friends and family to tell her that tell them that this relationship fell apart, they're gonna say, you know you're you're better than that, he doesn't deserve you. Those type of things to build her up, make her feel good, not really pointing out where she may have gotten things wrong. The man goes to his friends and other people about the relationship that fell apart. Man, you were stupid anyway you should have done this. Like, they're gonna come down on him regardless, and whether he likes it or not, he's gonna have to accept some level of personal accountability. Well, that also now shapes how they approach the next dating situation. Now, unfortunately, I do think that there are some men who when they run to the internet and they hear women bad women, bad women bad, they become blind to their own flaws. But I think you can make the argument that women have an audience of uplifters more than men do, and that will now skew how people view the opposite sex. And now those negative stories are only going to have even more of an impact because if I'm being told as a woman, I'm great, nothing's wrong with me, These men are horrible, right, and there's nothing for me to do different. So then anything that goes wrong will always be viewed through the lens of men are just horrible people. Like You're never gonna think, well, wait a minute, maybe there was something missing from this story, or maybe she could have handled things different. No, you're gonna jump right to their bad because that's what you're being told over and over again, and then it's being solidified by some of your own personal experiences, but you may not realize what's contributing to those experiences even coming about.

Create these fulfilling prophecies because you go into the dating experience bracing for negativity or projecting it, not realizing you're creating it, okay, and so what also makes it worse? And it hit me when you were asking the question, is that And again, I don't want women to feel like I'm just saying like women don't take any responsibility or anything like that, because there's plenty of women who do. However, it is more likely when a woman goes to her friends and family to tell her that tell them that this relationship fell apart, they're gonna say, you know you're you're better than that, he doesn't deserve you. Those type of things to build her up, make her feel good, not really pointing out where she may have gotten things wrong. The man goes to his friends and other people about the relationship that fell apart. Man, you were stupid anyway you should have done this. Like, they're gonna come down on him regardless, and whether he likes it or not, he's gonna have to accept some level of personal accountability. Well, that also now shapes how they approach the next dating situation. Now, unfortunately, I do think that there are some men who when they run to the internet and they hear women bad women, bad women bad, they become blind to their own flaws. But I think you can make the argument that women have an audience of uplifters more than men do, and that will now skew how people view the opposite sex. And now those negative stories are only going to have even more of an impact because if I'm being told as a woman, I'm great, nothing's wrong with me, These men are horrible, right, and there's nothing for me to do different. So then anything that goes wrong will always be viewed through the lens of men are just horrible people. Like You're never gonna think, well, wait a minute, maybe there was something missing from this story, or maybe she could have handled things different. No, you're gonna jump right to their bad because that's what you're being told over and over again, and then it's being solidified by some of your own personal experiences, but you may not realize what's contributing to those experiences even coming about.

Yeah, that's a really interesting way to look at it. Because there was a Facebook group and I forget what it's called now, but it's basically for I think it's called are we Dating the same man? And it's been built because there are so many women who are experiencing men dating them at the same time, even though he's saying is exclusive with one. So I had this happened to someone that I know recently, and she was seeing this guy for like six months and then they were or three months, sorry, they're seeing each other for three months. They were getting a bit closer. It was long distance. He'd come out to see her, and she was about to go and see him. So she messaged him and said, Hey, I'm coming out. I just want to make sure that we're taking in the right direction because she's buying a flight, she's coming over, she's investing in the relationship, and this guy who messages it every day just ghosted her. So she went onto this Facebook group and she wrote about it a few days later when she was like, wait a minute, this guy's not getting back to me. I've lost the flight ticket. Not in a great place. And then this other woman messaged back and was like, hey, let's connect off line. So then she shared her story. This guy supposedly is married. He's then been dating this other girl who just found out that he's married, saying he was going to get divorced, and now he was dating the person that I know. And so I think when you hear a story like that, it's no surprise that that spreads because that's a fascinating, juicy story and it's heartbreaking for the people that are actually invested and involved in it. And I think that empathy. Even when I heard that story, I was so heartbroken. But we have to remember that isn't the majority exact. It does exist, and it's really sad, and if it's happened to you, I'm so sorry, Like I feel like that could be the worst thing to go through, But it isn't the majority, and we have to be careful about how we amplify the minority experience exactly.

Yeah, that's a really interesting way to look at it. Because there was a Facebook group and I forget what it's called now, but it's basically for I think it's called are we Dating the same man? And it's been built because there are so many women who are experiencing men dating them at the same time, even though he's saying is exclusive with one. So I had this happened to someone that I know recently, and she was seeing this guy for like six months and then they were or three months, sorry, they're seeing each other for three months. They were getting a bit closer. It was long distance. He'd come out to see her, and she was about to go and see him. So she messaged him and said, Hey, I'm coming out. I just want to make sure that we're taking in the right direction because she's buying a flight, she's coming over, she's investing in the relationship, and this guy who messages it every day just ghosted her. So she went onto this Facebook group and she wrote about it a few days later when she was like, wait a minute, this guy's not getting back to me. I've lost the flight ticket. Not in a great place. And then this other woman messaged back and was like, hey, let's connect off line. So then she shared her story. This guy supposedly is married. He's then been dating this other girl who just found out that he's married, saying he was going to get divorced, and now he was dating the person that I know. And so I think when you hear a story like that, it's no surprise that that spreads because that's a fascinating, juicy story and it's heartbreaking for the people that are actually invested and involved in it. And I think that empathy. Even when I heard that story, I was so heartbroken. But we have to remember that isn't the majority exact. It does exist, and it's really sad, and if it's happened to you, I'm so sorry, Like I feel like that could be the worst thing to go through, But it isn't the majority, and we have to be careful about how we amplify the minority experience exactly.

And I think what we're not realizing as a society is that the reality is there. We base our perceptions of the opposite sex on what I call the desirables, all right, that top twenty percent of men or women who get the most attention, who have the most opportunities. And it kind of goes back to that belief of how great power can corrupt.

And I think what we're not realizing as a society is that the reality is there. We base our perceptions of the opposite sex on what I call the desirables, all right, that top twenty percent of men or women who get the most attention, who have the most opportunities. And it kind of goes back to that belief of how great power can corrupt.

All right.

All right.

So even the good, nice guy, if he now becomes a man who has all kinds of beautiful women coming after him, he has.

So even the good, nice guy, if he now becomes a man who has all kinds of beautiful women coming after him, he has.

All this access.

All this access.

Not all, but there are many who will start to fall into behaviors that they wouldn't have before, who will start to become more of a womanizer, who will start to enjoy all this access that they have, right. And the reality is that when we hear these stories, this is not a story of the average man who just wants a relationship looking for love. Is genuine. Maybe he doesn't get all the attention, maybe he's not the most desirable guy, but he's a good guy. But that's not where we're going to put our attention. And it's the same thing with women. When you hear men on the internet say women just want money. Women just want money, not granted, women value financial stability in men most okay, and I think that most men should strive from some level of stability. However, there are tons of women dating broke men right. There are tons of women who that is not their number one priority. It's a desire, but they want to be loved, they want quality time, they want these other things.

Not all, but there are many who will start to fall into behaviors that they wouldn't have before, who will start to become more of a womanizer, who will start to enjoy all this access that they have, right. And the reality is that when we hear these stories, this is not a story of the average man who just wants a relationship looking for love. Is genuine. Maybe he doesn't get all the attention, maybe he's not the most desirable guy, but he's a good guy. But that's not where we're going to put our attention. And it's the same thing with women. When you hear men on the internet say women just want money. Women just want money, not granted, women value financial stability in men most okay, and I think that most men should strive from some level of stability. However, there are tons of women dating broke men right. There are tons of women who that is not their number one priority. It's a desire, but they want to be loved, they want quality time, they want these other things.

But again, if it's.

But again, if it's.

Not being said by the audience that the men fixate so much on, they don't hear those voices. They just focus on the women who are Again and I'm using the word desirables not because I'm determining what's desirable. I'm just laying out the people who get the most attention, who tend to get more attention for whatever reason, right or wrong. That's what happens in life. And so we got to realize that they do not represent the majority. And we have to ask ourselves sometimes, are we focusing too much on the wrong group of people when we're trying to come to an understanding of the opposite sex?

Not being said by the audience that the men fixate so much on, they don't hear those voices. They just focus on the women who are Again and I'm using the word desirables not because I'm determining what's desirable. I'm just laying out the people who get the most attention, who tend to get more attention for whatever reason, right or wrong. That's what happens in life. And so we got to realize that they do not represent the majority. And we have to ask ourselves sometimes, are we focusing too much on the wrong group of people when we're trying to come to an understanding of the opposite sex?

For sure? When people are dating, what some of the things to look out for when you're thinking about long term success, Because I think the challenge people are having now is like someone will love to bomb them. For three months, everything's moving amazing, It's getting really intense, like dates are great, hanging out it's great, the intimacy is great, and then all of a sudden, it's like one person kind of checks out and goes, hey, I don't think this's working for me. We're moving too fast. Hey, we should slow this down. Hey, I think we've rushed into it. And then you're like, wait a minute. I thought we were going to get married, right, I thought this was going somewhere. What are we meant to do? What are people meant to do in those first three, six, twelve months if you had to give markers to kind of slow it down, because I think we all want to fall in love fast, but it doesn't seem to ever work healthily that way, or it doesn't work often healthily that way.

For sure? When people are dating, what some of the things to look out for when you're thinking about long term success, Because I think the challenge people are having now is like someone will love to bomb them. For three months, everything's moving amazing, It's getting really intense, like dates are great, hanging out it's great, the intimacy is great, and then all of a sudden, it's like one person kind of checks out and goes, hey, I don't think this's working for me. We're moving too fast. Hey, we should slow this down. Hey, I think we've rushed into it. And then you're like, wait a minute. I thought we were going to get married, right, I thought this was going somewhere. What are we meant to do? What are people meant to do in those first three, six, twelve months if you had to give markers to kind of slow it down, because I think we all want to fall in love fast, but it doesn't seem to ever work healthily that way, or it doesn't work often healthily that way.

Well, before I get into what we should do with those markers, I think the I always say this love bombing is only when it's a one sided thing. So basically two people me one person is showing them with all this love and attention and going hard, and for the other person, it's not them saying, oh, I'm in love with them, it's them saying this feels so good. Yes, I'm enjoying this. Let me keep this going. You see, but if you both and let's use a different example where you can have two people meet and they both feel this intense connection immediately, they are both feeling strongly about each other. To me, that's not a love bomb, all right, that's just a connection that two people are embracing a lot quicker than maybe some others would.

Well, before I get into what we should do with those markers, I think the I always say this love bombing is only when it's a one sided thing. So basically two people me one person is showing them with all this love and attention and going hard, and for the other person, it's not them saying, oh, I'm in love with them, it's them saying this feels so good. Yes, I'm enjoying this. Let me keep this going. You see, but if you both and let's use a different example where you can have two people meet and they both feel this intense connection immediately, they are both feeling strongly about each other. To me, that's not a love bomb, all right, that's just a connection that two people are embracing a lot quicker than maybe some others would.

All right, good distinctions.

All right, good distinctions.

So now if those two people moved quote unquote fast by society standards, I don't have a problem with that as long as they do their due diligence, which is part of what we got to do within those times market times. But there's nothing wrong. Like I knew a couple they came to one of my events. They got married, I think in like three four months, and they said they watched one of my videos and family and friends are like, oh, this is stupid, this is wrong. But they heard me explain it, and they're like, this was them. This applied to them. They felt a connection, they were on the same page. And what people have to understand is one couples three months is not the same as the next couples three months. So one couple in their three months may have been talking every single day, spending time multiple times a week, asking all these questions, diving deep to each other, meeting each other's families. They've done so much due diligence. They don't need years more to figure this out. The next couple they talk here and there, they see each other once, so a wee get every other week. They're very busy. Yeah, and so the moments together feel great, But they really haven't spent enough time diving deep into each other. So we have to remember that. But as far as what we should be doing is we should be trying to learn as much about the person as quickly as possible. I think too many times we have an approach of like going with the flow type of deal. For sure, all right, and we'll just figure it out as we go along. And in reality, there's a part of it that doesn't want to rock the boat because again, we're enjoying the companionship. If you're having sex, you're enjoying the sex. There's different benefits here that you don't want to let go of. So you're purposely or subconsciously not asking questions you know might be a problem, all right, And so now when things blow up a year, ladies, you never know some no, you wouldn't ask the question that need to be asked. The quicker you can put those questions out there. The quicker you can expose. And I use the word exposed not in a negative way, but in a way of gaining clarity, Yes, revealing who this person is and.

So now if those two people moved quote unquote fast by society standards, I don't have a problem with that as long as they do their due diligence, which is part of what we got to do within those times market times. But there's nothing wrong. Like I knew a couple they came to one of my events. They got married, I think in like three four months, and they said they watched one of my videos and family and friends are like, oh, this is stupid, this is wrong. But they heard me explain it, and they're like, this was them. This applied to them. They felt a connection, they were on the same page. And what people have to understand is one couples three months is not the same as the next couples three months. So one couple in their three months may have been talking every single day, spending time multiple times a week, asking all these questions, diving deep to each other, meeting each other's families. They've done so much due diligence. They don't need years more to figure this out. The next couple they talk here and there, they see each other once, so a wee get every other week. They're very busy. Yeah, and so the moments together feel great, But they really haven't spent enough time diving deep into each other. So we have to remember that. But as far as what we should be doing is we should be trying to learn as much about the person as quickly as possible. I think too many times we have an approach of like going with the flow type of deal. For sure, all right, and we'll just figure it out as we go along. And in reality, there's a part of it that doesn't want to rock the boat because again, we're enjoying the companionship. If you're having sex, you're enjoying the sex. There's different benefits here that you don't want to let go of. So you're purposely or subconsciously not asking questions you know might be a problem, all right, And so now when things blow up a year, ladies, you never know some no, you wouldn't ask the question that need to be asked. The quicker you can put those questions out there. The quicker you can expose. And I use the word exposed not in a negative way, but in a way of gaining clarity, Yes, revealing who this person is and.

What we have with each other.

What we have with each other.

Yeah, okay, But I also think that it always starts with we have to be honest about how we feel. Too many people are choosing their partner based off of do they love me?

Yeah, okay, But I also think that it always starts with we have to be honest about how we feel. Too many people are choosing their partner based off of do they love me?

Rather than do I love them?